sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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