You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
