I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
