Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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