I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
