...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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