Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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