It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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