the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We need to rekindle our bromance
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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