i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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