dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
