Ketchup is God's man juice
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
