It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
