I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
