We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
