U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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