you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
