shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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