Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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