maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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