Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
