Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
