My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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