just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
