we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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