i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
