At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
