How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
