I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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