I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
