This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
