she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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