Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
