stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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