Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
