he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
