I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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