when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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