She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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