i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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