then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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