Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
