Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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