Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
