just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
