I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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