Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
