whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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