I wish I could punch you in the face.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
