currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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